I'm tired

Tired of driving in circles for work, of coworkers being petty over meaningless things, over feeling unloved, of having to try to sort thru boxes while being productive at work, dreaming of being happy, anticipating fun. But having a hard time slowing down to enjoy it, of my back hurting, of not finishing close to complete projects, trying to balance saying bye to friends while not crying too much because I don't know when I'll ever see them, wondering if I'll turn into a grungy dirty dreads hippie, and wondering how to stay centered. . . . . .