Battembang, Cambodia Asia

Bangkok, Thailand Siem Reap, Cambodia

Friends in wien

finish well, go to the next d

power and the use of it

aug 31, 2014 power and the use of it we all have personal power. we all have the ability to use what power we have to either further our own gain, to further other people's gain or to let it lay dormant. In using it for our own gain, there is an element of an evil or good use of it. Using our own personal charisma and charm to get what we want from people and it is a win/win this is good. To gain from someone and it is a win/lose this is often how our power is used. We use our influence to make a person come close to us and we take something from them while convincing them it is of mutual benefit, but in the end we leave them feeling more broken. perhaps our own brokenness provokes us to mistreat someone. We all wish to be treated well and respected, but out of our own brokenness, sometimes we take advantage of a person of lesser means in this moment, they see the hope of something better, but we leave them feeling more broken and more lost. Or we see something happening, and we hold the power to make it stop, but we choose not to use our personal power to stop it. Maybe we cannot stop the evil from happening but if we fail to act then evil prevails. It is said, Evil flourishes when good people do nothing** So the next time a person seems frail and vulnerable and you want something they have but it would leave that person in a worse position, more damaged, perhaps you can instead come alongside them and bring hope to their life. In the same way you would want a person to come alongside you and to not take advantage of you also.

I hope you find what you are looking for

aug 29, 2014 I hope you find what you are looking for People along the road have wished me many things Perhaps the oddest is that they say-"I hope you find what you are looking for." what makes people think that I am adventuring to Find something. That I have something that I am looking for and that when i find it i will be content. I guess the flip-side of the coin is that the presumption is that they have found what they are looking for or they believe they are on the track which will end them up where they believe they will get this imaginary pot of gold. Maybe they have done everything according to societal rules and are looking for the gain at the end of delayed gratification that they can retire at ease after a life of strain, but too often life intervenes with plans not working on schedule, catastrophic illness, unexpected losses, financial difficulties and even premature death of a loved one or oneself. The dreams do not become realized and all the strain and restrain from enjoyment becomes for not. So this path of seeming plotting for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow does not come true, possibly for most people. but yet, if one takes time in life to travel, and to have the most marvelous time of meeting strangers and getting a lifelong friend out of the deal, of seeing wonderful places through chance opportunities, of having the great fortune of learning to sing and play a little guitar and this opening doors to peoples home and hearts! wow amazing. I feel unbelievable grateful for the opportunity to be able to really spend genuine time with people and really see them and really know them and speak some kind of acknowledgement and peace into their life. This for me is the most wonderful thing. Seeing someone lost or not noticed and being able to speak and say I see you, keep going, there is hope out there. No I will not be with you each step of your journey, but I am a sign of hope to you, that better days are ahead. That the wonderfulness of you that is unfolding is for some unique good in this world. That the pain and difficulties you have experienced that you felt might kill you have instead the potential to soften you and to make you a superb person. To use the shit of the world as fertilizer in your life for a beautiful harvest. So am I looking for something? Will I find it? I am looking to bring comfort, to bring hope but most of all love. In some measure to be a symbol of hope in a world that pretty much tries to kill all hope. Somedays I think I see glimpses that I have made a small difference.

life and movement

have been in peru again since march 4th, 2013. Have been thinking of where to go next or what to do next. with a world of possiblities it seems daunting to select where to go next. i have seen a vision of a line from lima peru to europe. no place specificially so i will head that way july 16th. i have heard many great things of lovely places algorves, turkey, and such that i still will be finding a way to see what there is to do. it seems there is no wrong way to go and no wrong time either. pros or cons exist but really just following what is in your heart to do seems positive and i can{t wait to get started. sunshine seems a wonderful thing now that it{s getting cooler in lima also. here{s a pic of me and my 2 friends freddie(s) one from colombia and the other from england on a recent trip to the zoo in peru

Run your best Race

~If I wasn't myself, We could have such a great relationship

If I wasn't hardwired the way I am, I would go and live by my sister Salome and her family. I know that if I did that our lives would rarely intersect because we have such different lives, and we are in different stages of our lives and have different talents and strengths. We've arrived at where we are at such different paths. I feel the loss of her, of who we could be as sisters and friends and companions in adventures if I could just suppress who I am. I have this feeling in many relationships, when it comes to different points of view, and different wants from the relationships, that if I could just suppress this, who I am, what I want or lets say need, from what my course and direction is in life, I could have some really great relationships. It's what went wrong in my childhood and adulthood relationships. But if getting along with everyone means faking who I am to please you, then what would be the point either for you or me. There was a time in a close relationship, that the person asked me to just fake being happy and smile and be agreeable to anything they asked. They told me they didn't care if I felt it or not, just to act. so I did this for 3 hours and then they asked me to stop. See nothing was gained by me just going along with their plan. So in fairness to myself, I have to walk down roads that no foot has stepped on before. I have to just be who I am. This doesn't mean I don't see my flaws, I am most harsh towards myself for those. I just have to follow this trail and know that it means that I am trading living near loved ones. Living a ''semingly secure'' life instead of living hanging off of a cliff. So although I love you and wish I could just be a calm, collected version, I have to do this thing I am to do and not be too sad when I get to see my lovely sisters via email, phone calls and occassional too short visits. Do your best in your allotted lives, and I will attempt to do the same in mine. I love you!

Back in Lima

I have spent the last 3 months in Colombia, Venezuela, Panama and Costa Rica. I have been unable to access the blog due to poor internet connections in these countries. I got to spend Christmas and New Years with my new friends in Venezuela. It was awesome meeting so many wonderful people, eating delicious food and of course talking about then President Chavez. I met tons of people everywhere who were given a prophecy that in 2013 Chavez would die, which he now has, and that a president that was God-fearing would be put into power to lead their country. A bit of politics now-the Venezuelan constitution, calls for the head of the General Assembly to become president in case of the presidents death. This man{s name is Diosdado Caballo or God-given Covering or hair. President Chavez in November placed a vice-president and said that in the event of his death he wanted Nicolas Maduro to be president. Maduro-means mature-or ripe like fruit. The president of the Assembly allowed Mr. Maduro to be president in his stead upon the death of Chavez. The people of Venezuela are among the most kindest, joyful people on the planet. They are sharply divided either 100% for or 100% against Chavez and his politics. There is much violence there. In the neighborhood I was staying in in the city of Valencia-52 people were murdered in the first 2 weeks in January. The prison system is controlled by gangs who have weapons of every kind, drugs, women, tv, cable, whatever they want. The riots are allowed to run out of control-this video adult themed shows the normal prison life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXJQR3PR8Gk The people are very content but there are some who live in a state of panic and when the government rations food out to the various cities, some people go in and purchase all the sugar, for example, and then there is none for their friends and neighbors. The people are then sharing some of the food that has been horded. I got to stay with the man in charge of food distribution in Venezuela, a former Captain in the military, and he said that there is plenty of food but because of hording, there is a perpetual shortage in the supermarkets. The government has tried to provide good to people at a low cost but instead of stabalizing the market, the perpetual shortage has created a feeling of lack of supply. At one house I stayed at, there was no masa, the main ingredient for their arepa, a tortilla that is split open and filled, that is eaten daily as a staple. So no one in the whol neighborhood had any masa and therefore the whole neighborhood was not eating there main staple of arepas. At another house, a woman was having a party for 200 people and could not buy sugar in her town, and luckily someone gave her a 20 kg bag of it. The people all have nice blackberry cell phones, and roughly 45% have braces. The children in the school all have basic laptops to use. There is free medical care, but there are some costs not covered by the socialized medicine. Gas is super cheap. My friend filled his car with 40 liters and it costs about $.20! There are all the gas guzzeling cars there and people think nothing of filling their tank. They tip the gas attendants more than they pay for fueling their cars. The price of cars is $60,000 for a basic car. You go and put your name on a list and wait for months and whatever comes availble is what you get. The government has mainted a low rate for dollar exchange of $1 for 4 bolivares. The black market rate is $1 for 18 Bolivares, This was changed recently to $1 for 6.2 Bolivares and the black market rate is 24 Bolivares. This means if you go with dollars, you can quadruple your money with the exchange rate. The money has to be spent in Venezuela because the currency is basically worthless elsewhere. There are many houses built for the poor, a lot uncompleted unfortunately due to corruption and overcharging for government contracts. The country was beautiful, the people hospitiable and amazing and I see much good in their future and much stabiliazation in the upcoming 5 years. I got to spend a month with my mom, sister and family in Costa Rica. It was nice to walk up hills, swim, attend church with her, go to the beach and relax too. I was suppose to return thru Venezuela to continue traveling south. I kept feeling drawn back to Lima, Peru. I looked into going to Spain, Brasil and ultimatly was unable to enter Venezuela and ended up buying a ticket to Peru. I feel like for now to connect with locals, a hilighting of a 4 block area where the hostel is located. The street has 3 names, Arequipa, Wilson, Garcilaso de la Vega and actually turns into Tacnta. So I{m sure there{s a story there. It{s been a bit of a bumpy week coming back and working thru some stuff with people here. I have found a zumba class and swimming pool to keep up on my fitness and back staying strong. I think these are ways to connect to the locals also. This week I met a guy and his family and ended up having the most amazing 6 hours of conversation about God, Chavez, music and family a guy from Venezuela. So I;ll see how to be involved. M

what can i say

I´m in Bogota, Columbia after 3 months in Peru.  And I felt like it was time for a change.  I had exhausted all the things that I felt like doing in Peru for now and so today I climbed Monserrate in Bogota. I have basically been sleeping for 2 days since I got here. I was so tired.  but anyway I´m starting to feel refreshed and my laundry is clean and so that means where to next. . . maybe Cartejena or Medallin out towards the coast.  or maybe head east towards Venezuela or north towards Panama and Costa Rica too.

so for today i´m here

checking in

Whoa It's been over a month since I posted anything. . . what does that mean I have nothing to say I've been busy having fun I've been thinking Actually all of the above I have been thinking about moving to Peru. It's the only place in the world where I've felt at home when I arrived and the feeling hasn't left. On the first day in Lima, a gigantic city of 11 million people, me sentia en casa-at home. I traveled out of Peru to Ecuador and didn't have the same feeling and the closer I got to Lima, I felt like I was going home. So I've been here in Peru for 9 weeks and have enjoyed the way it is. Today there was a earthquake and tsunami drill for the city of Lima. Evidently there is a major earthquake every 4 years and there hasn't been one for 8 years, so they are preparing that at any time there will be the BIG one. In each business you see the exits clearly marked and also postings that say-safe area in case of earthquake on column walls. On the beach there are signs with tsunami evacuation exits. I think it's good to be prepared and ready but at the same time to not be fearful. . I've seen some riots in the streets, heard of people being robbed of their stuff in hostels, on buses, on the street, seen the lovliness of the people and how kind they are, and seen how angry and passionate they can get too. Just like people all over the world. In some ways I feel like my heart is coming alive in the atmosphere of emotions and love. Many people have asked me to stay in Peru and I'm thinking of staying here. Will I keep traveling? I don't know. Really, when you hit a peaceful spot, it's important to relish it and see what it will bring, right?

fun at the beach

for whatever reason updating my ipad has caused it to not want to access my blog. so it{s been days without posting. i{m at huanchaco and enjoying the beach. The pics are of fishing and someone mending their nets common with what we do in alaska and ChanChan a huge complex http://www.arqueologiadelperu.com.ar/chanchan.htm
and yes it{s sunny here. <i{m aiming at some solutitude but it seems to be interesting people everywhere so i have to carve out alone time to think about life, love, God, what this all means.

<I met this interesting girl from the peace corps and she said that she and all the people she{s here with seem like they are bipolar from being really high up and then really low down.  We had some good laughs about a good day in <peru is one with solid poo.  I told her i feel ok now and she said, get ready for the low and just know it{s coming and there will be highs after that.  It made me feel better since I have felt totally unstable on this adventure, missing people at home, missing relationships, knowing that i need and want to be here and that i would never consider going back to the old life. my friends i will always carry in my heart, but not the old burdens.}

kennedy's big win back

We went walking to find the restaurant yesterday AGAIN and he found a place to buy his plane ticket to Buenas Aires. Off hand he asked the lady if she knew of a place where they sold food for 8.50 sole. She said yes and told him it was the same street he had already looked 8 times. She wrote down the name Faroiles and then we walked up there and immediatly the people recognized him and gave us a table and served us lunch. It was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing because there are these dark forest green doors and we had walked past and it seems there were closed and we looked for signs that said 8.50 but we didn't see any. He got his money back. I pasted a pic of him laughing on my fb page. I don't even want to start to tell you the story of how he believes he left 300 sole in his pants today when he dropped them off at the laundry. . . he picks them up at 6pm and he really thinks this money is gone.

kennedy's BIG tip

My malaysian friend Kennedy went to a restaurant somewhere nearby the hostel. He ate lunch there for 8.50 soles (like $3.) so he said it was a new restaurant and he tried to get change for his 100 soles bill ($40) but they didn't have change. So he tried to just leave a $20 US bill but they said no how can we change that. So he left the 100 soles and walked within 3 minutes and turned one time to the right and came to the hostel. That was 3 days ago and he hasn't been able to locate the restaurant again. He spends a few hours per day walking the blocks around the hostel-one block he's gone 8 times and even goes in place and asks do you have lunch for 8.50 soles? and I left something and they say no, our lunch is 8 soles and we don't remember you. He says he's so sad that he gave such a big tip and wonders if they closed down the restaurant since it was so new. But everyday from 12-5pm he searches for the restaurant and plans to eat lunch there-WHEN not if he finds it. He says that he was so crazy to do something like that and he wishes he'd spent the money on something else-anything else-but he just lost it. I asked him how much per hour he thought his time was worth and he said, he doesn't care, he even wants to hire a taxi to drive him around the city blocks to search for this place. He can only remember that they had a counter and the restaurant had 2 sides to it and it costs 8.50. In fact yesterday, I went wandering around with him looking for it and asking random people on the street if they knew of a restaurant that was new that sold plates for 8.50 soles. It's this funny runny joke now and today he has a cold but is getting ready cuz it's 11:56am and he's got to start his afternoon search for the place. He leaves in 3 days so he's getting a bit desperate to get his accidental BIG tip back. He has a big smile and sense of humor about it but being a gambler he just can't cut his losses and enjoy the rest of his time, he just keeps searching for the rest of his change.

Identity Crisis

So people ask me my name and I say Mariana Brosnan, cuz that's what my passport says so then they call me Mariana but i have no idea who they are speaking to. I go by Michele. But it's too confusing to explain and besides they say my name like Mitch-hell! give 'em hell! I don't know. then to get them to pronounce Brosnan is funny-I just tell them like Pierce Brosnan and they sometimes get it. then the next question I cannot answer is where are you from? my markings are that I am latina and I'm speaking Spanish or Castellana and usually I tell people I am from Alaska and then explain I'm not native or an Eskimo. But if I say I'm from Alaska, then they seem to have no idea and ask-is it a foreign country? Sometimes I say I'm from Costa Rica and they want to know how long is the plane ride from their to here. The next question is are you married. If it's a strange man, than I say-yes-this just causes less problems. If I say no, then they try to ask me out. So then with yes-they ask where is your husband? so I say in Costa Rica or Oregon or Alaska or wherever I just said I was from. and they ask if he's ok that I'm out traveling alone. I tell them that I have friends and yes he's ok with it. then they say-if you were my wife-I would travel with you. I try to explain he's a trusting guy and he couldn't go with me but he understands my need to travel so maybe he'll come join me later. Needless to say, it's get very complicated very quick. So what happens if I just say, no I'm single and I chose to travel, cuz I can-it's very unaccepted in this culture. So usually I try to avoid all these questions by diverting the conversation which can be tricky. Sometimes it's the path of least resistance to getting things done. so I'm not sure who I am or where I am from. They call me Mariana and I am a member of the Earth. : )

sightings

I was going to post a photo blog on where men choose to go to the bathroom. Outside the hostel on the main avenue there is a 6 lane street. men cross halfway across and there are trees in the median and they stop to pee there. I mean they can't make it across or it's like natures call. then i went near the shore with a rocky path and the men would just walk down a couple feet towards shore and again use the el bano. Then pretty much anywhere in the city they just turn their back towards the most people and just go. Now the only time I haven't seen them doing this was in a restroom. There's virtually no traffic to the men's room. just saying-apparently the outdoors just makes them feel free. It's not like in the middle of our regatta in Oregon, one team member had to go in the middle of a race. The request from the skipper was not to pee into the wind. Pregnant women Seriously about 1 in 15 women in Chimbote were pregnant. That town gets real quiet at night and then it get repopulated. Then boyfriends or husband were there with their hands on their back escorting them around town. These women looked ready to deliver there in the marketplace. Nursing moms Everywhere there are new babies and there are moms with their breast hanging out and the kid is nursing. The older ones get down and play and come back and the breast is their waiting for them. It's very common to see this everywhere. just sayin

settle in settle down

In the first hour in Peru, the Immigration Official asked me out on a date for ceviche, which I politely declined once I had my 183 days approved on my visa, an airport official asked me to take a poll for local Peruvians, but I didn't qualify as a non-peruvian, got a ride from a taxi driver who described local flavors and bebidadas to me on the ride to the hostel.

I went out walking the few blocks to the store to purchase a lock for the hostel-didn't take Jordan's advice and grab one previous-??!!

Then in the morning-I have no timepiece-I wandered around and found a local breakfast-a papa rellena- filled potato- boiled potato with a boiled egg with delicious red and green salsa on top. Cost 1 sole.

Exchange rate $1- 2.54 soles
so less than $.50 for that.

I played in a chess tournament in the park but was not successfull in my bids to win. Good thing my nephew Jonathan downloaded chess onto my ipad so I can practice up in case another chance comes my way. Isaiac was a fun player and was curious about my crazy adventure. The most amazing thing was the homeless man who looked completely like he's slept in the park and woke up hung over, he
d play anyone who showed up opposite him and beat nearly everyone he played. These young hot shots would stride up and then play several games before accepting their humilating defeats.

I'm totally exhausted and my back is letting me know that it's time to just chill out and not go on any long sit down trips for a while. So I'll be chillin in Lima for a few days. I'm sure living with 9 million locals will be awesome.

it's starting

i feel excited-scared, nervious, alive!, sad missing my close to my heart friends, :(, and glad for the opportunity to go explore. LAX in a few minutes then i'm out. . .

when something ends something new begins

when i moved to Oregon in 1998, my children were small(er) and we moved here with the hopes of shoveling less snow and finishing college and having my kids live near their cousins.  I came here with dreams and thoughts. Did those get accomplished?

In the next 5 years there were dreams of building community and having great business and fun-this dream seemed to slowly build-like wind filling a spinnaker-but then a hearty snap and tearing of the sail and utter chaos.  Were those real visions of things that were real to come or just foolish desire?

The last 6 years were difficult-learning to be consistant in a world of inconsistancy-in a job that was less than enjoyable-I tried to make it exciting and enjoyed the people I helped-it was hard times with kids and relationships.  I thought there was some point to learn, some deeper meaning but maybe it was all pointless waiting for time to pass so that I would be now.

I drove around Albanascopy-as I call it, and looked at the old dreams and projects that never came true. I don't get it.

So I have to close the chapter on what I thought this whole Oregon adventure was about and go on with my whole heart to the next adventure. I hold the love of my friends who've made me who I am or who attempted to :) and I resisted-oops sorry!  and I keep the memories of all the wonderful times I've had-especially laughing with people.

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