finish well, go to the next d

power and the use of it

aug 31, 2014 power and the use of it we all have personal power. we all have the ability to use what power we have to either further our own gain, to further other people's gain or to let it lay dormant. In using it for our own gain, there is an element of an evil or good use of it. Using our own personal charisma and charm to get what we want from people and it is a win/win this is good. To gain from someone and it is a win/lose this is often how our power is used. We use our influence to make a person come close to us and we take something from them while convincing them it is of mutual benefit, but in the end we leave them feeling more broken. perhaps our own brokenness provokes us to mistreat someone. We all wish to be treated well and respected, but out of our own brokenness, sometimes we take advantage of a person of lesser means in this moment, they see the hope of something better, but we leave them feeling more broken and more lost. Or we see something happening, and we hold the power to make it stop, but we choose not to use our personal power to stop it. Maybe we cannot stop the evil from happening but if we fail to act then evil prevails. It is said, Evil flourishes when good people do nothing** So the next time a person seems frail and vulnerable and you want something they have but it would leave that person in a worse position, more damaged, perhaps you can instead come alongside them and bring hope to their life. In the same way you would want a person to come alongside you and to not take advantage of you also.

I hope you find what you are looking for

aug 29, 2014 I hope you find what you are looking for People along the road have wished me many things Perhaps the oddest is that they say-"I hope you find what you are looking for." what makes people think that I am adventuring to Find something. That I have something that I am looking for and that when i find it i will be content. I guess the flip-side of the coin is that the presumption is that they have found what they are looking for or they believe they are on the track which will end them up where they believe they will get this imaginary pot of gold. Maybe they have done everything according to societal rules and are looking for the gain at the end of delayed gratification that they can retire at ease after a life of strain, but too often life intervenes with plans not working on schedule, catastrophic illness, unexpected losses, financial difficulties and even premature death of a loved one or oneself. The dreams do not become realized and all the strain and restrain from enjoyment becomes for not. So this path of seeming plotting for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow does not come true, possibly for most people. but yet, if one takes time in life to travel, and to have the most marvelous time of meeting strangers and getting a lifelong friend out of the deal, of seeing wonderful places through chance opportunities, of having the great fortune of learning to sing and play a little guitar and this opening doors to peoples home and hearts! wow amazing. I feel unbelievable grateful for the opportunity to be able to really spend genuine time with people and really see them and really know them and speak some kind of acknowledgement and peace into their life. This for me is the most wonderful thing. Seeing someone lost or not noticed and being able to speak and say I see you, keep going, there is hope out there. No I will not be with you each step of your journey, but I am a sign of hope to you, that better days are ahead. That the wonderfulness of you that is unfolding is for some unique good in this world. That the pain and difficulties you have experienced that you felt might kill you have instead the potential to soften you and to make you a superb person. To use the shit of the world as fertilizer in your life for a beautiful harvest. So am I looking for something? Will I find it? I am looking to bring comfort, to bring hope but most of all love. In some measure to be a symbol of hope in a world that pretty much tries to kill all hope. Somedays I think I see glimpses that I have made a small difference.

life and movement

have been in peru again since march 4th, 2013. Have been thinking of where to go next or what to do next. with a world of possiblities it seems daunting to select where to go next. i have seen a vision of a line from lima peru to europe. no place specificially so i will head that way july 16th. i have heard many great things of lovely places algorves, turkey, and such that i still will be finding a way to see what there is to do. it seems there is no wrong way to go and no wrong time either. pros or cons exist but really just following what is in your heart to do seems positive and i can{t wait to get started. sunshine seems a wonderful thing now that it{s getting cooler in lima also. here{s a pic of me and my 2 friends freddie(s) one from colombia and the other from england on a recent trip to the zoo in peru

Run your best Race

~If I wasn't myself, We could have such a great relationship

If I wasn't hardwired the way I am, I would go and live by my sister Salome and her family. I know that if I did that our lives would rarely intersect because we have such different lives, and we are in different stages of our lives and have different talents and strengths. We've arrived at where we are at such different paths. I feel the loss of her, of who we could be as sisters and friends and companions in adventures if I could just suppress who I am. I have this feeling in many relationships, when it comes to different points of view, and different wants from the relationships, that if I could just suppress this, who I am, what I want or lets say need, from what my course and direction is in life, I could have some really great relationships. It's what went wrong in my childhood and adulthood relationships. But if getting along with everyone means faking who I am to please you, then what would be the point either for you or me. There was a time in a close relationship, that the person asked me to just fake being happy and smile and be agreeable to anything they asked. They told me they didn't care if I felt it or not, just to act. so I did this for 3 hours and then they asked me to stop. See nothing was gained by me just going along with their plan. So in fairness to myself, I have to walk down roads that no foot has stepped on before. I have to just be who I am. This doesn't mean I don't see my flaws, I am most harsh towards myself for those. I just have to follow this trail and know that it means that I am trading living near loved ones. Living a ''semingly secure'' life instead of living hanging off of a cliff. So although I love you and wish I could just be a calm, collected version, I have to do this thing I am to do and not be too sad when I get to see my lovely sisters via email, phone calls and occassional too short visits. Do your best in your allotted lives, and I will attempt to do the same in mine. I love you!

Back in Lima

I have spent the last 3 months in Colombia, Venezuela, Panama and Costa Rica. I have been unable to access the blog due to poor internet connections in these countries. I got to spend Christmas and New Years with my new friends in Venezuela. It was awesome meeting so many wonderful people, eating delicious food and of course talking about then President Chavez. I met tons of people everywhere who were given a prophecy that in 2013 Chavez would die, which he now has, and that a president that was God-fearing would be put into power to lead their country. A bit of politics now-the Venezuelan constitution, calls for the head of the General Assembly to become president in case of the presidents death. This man{s name is Diosdado Caballo or God-given Covering or hair. President Chavez in November placed a vice-president and said that in the event of his death he wanted Nicolas Maduro to be president. Maduro-means mature-or ripe like fruit. The president of the Assembly allowed Mr. Maduro to be president in his stead upon the death of Chavez. The people of Venezuela are among the most kindest, joyful people on the planet. They are sharply divided either 100% for or 100% against Chavez and his politics. There is much violence there. In the neighborhood I was staying in in the city of Valencia-52 people were murdered in the first 2 weeks in January. The prison system is controlled by gangs who have weapons of every kind, drugs, women, tv, cable, whatever they want. The riots are allowed to run out of control-this video adult themed shows the normal prison life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXJQR3PR8Gk The people are very content but there are some who live in a state of panic and when the government rations food out to the various cities, some people go in and purchase all the sugar, for example, and then there is none for their friends and neighbors. The people are then sharing some of the food that has been horded. I got to stay with the man in charge of food distribution in Venezuela, a former Captain in the military, and he said that there is plenty of food but because of hording, there is a perpetual shortage in the supermarkets. The government has tried to provide good to people at a low cost but instead of stabalizing the market, the perpetual shortage has created a feeling of lack of supply. At one house I stayed at, there was no masa, the main ingredient for their arepa, a tortilla that is split open and filled, that is eaten daily as a staple. So no one in the whol neighborhood had any masa and therefore the whole neighborhood was not eating there main staple of arepas. At another house, a woman was having a party for 200 people and could not buy sugar in her town, and luckily someone gave her a 20 kg bag of it. The people all have nice blackberry cell phones, and roughly 45% have braces. The children in the school all have basic laptops to use. There is free medical care, but there are some costs not covered by the socialized medicine. Gas is super cheap. My friend filled his car with 40 liters and it costs about $.20! There are all the gas guzzeling cars there and people think nothing of filling their tank. They tip the gas attendants more than they pay for fueling their cars. The price of cars is $60,000 for a basic car. You go and put your name on a list and wait for months and whatever comes availble is what you get. The government has mainted a low rate for dollar exchange of $1 for 4 bolivares. The black market rate is $1 for 18 Bolivares, This was changed recently to $1 for 6.2 Bolivares and the black market rate is 24 Bolivares. This means if you go with dollars, you can quadruple your money with the exchange rate. The money has to be spent in Venezuela because the currency is basically worthless elsewhere. There are many houses built for the poor, a lot uncompleted unfortunately due to corruption and overcharging for government contracts. The country was beautiful, the people hospitiable and amazing and I see much good in their future and much stabiliazation in the upcoming 5 years. I got to spend a month with my mom, sister and family in Costa Rica. It was nice to walk up hills, swim, attend church with her, go to the beach and relax too. I was suppose to return thru Venezuela to continue traveling south. I kept feeling drawn back to Lima, Peru. I looked into going to Spain, Brasil and ultimatly was unable to enter Venezuela and ended up buying a ticket to Peru. I feel like for now to connect with locals, a hilighting of a 4 block area where the hostel is located. The street has 3 names, Arequipa, Wilson, Garcilaso de la Vega and actually turns into Tacnta. So I{m sure there{s a story there. It{s been a bit of a bumpy week coming back and working thru some stuff with people here. I have found a zumba class and swimming pool to keep up on my fitness and back staying strong. I think these are ways to connect to the locals also. This week I met a guy and his family and ended up having the most amazing 6 hours of conversation about God, Chavez, music and family a guy from Venezuela. So I;ll see how to be involved. M