what can i say

I´m in Bogota, Columbia after 3 months in Peru.  And I felt like it was time for a change.  I had exhausted all the things that I felt like doing in Peru for now and so today I climbed Monserrate in Bogota. I have basically been sleeping for 2 days since I got here. I was so tired.  but anyway I´m starting to feel refreshed and my laundry is clean and so that means where to next. . . maybe Cartejena or Medallin out towards the coast.  or maybe head east towards Venezuela or north towards Panama and Costa Rica too.

so for today i´m here

checking in

Whoa It's been over a month since I posted anything. . . what does that mean I have nothing to say I've been busy having fun I've been thinking Actually all of the above I have been thinking about moving to Peru. It's the only place in the world where I've felt at home when I arrived and the feeling hasn't left. On the first day in Lima, a gigantic city of 11 million people, me sentia en casa-at home. I traveled out of Peru to Ecuador and didn't have the same feeling and the closer I got to Lima, I felt like I was going home. So I've been here in Peru for 9 weeks and have enjoyed the way it is. Today there was a earthquake and tsunami drill for the city of Lima. Evidently there is a major earthquake every 4 years and there hasn't been one for 8 years, so they are preparing that at any time there will be the BIG one. In each business you see the exits clearly marked and also postings that say-safe area in case of earthquake on column walls. On the beach there are signs with tsunami evacuation exits. I think it's good to be prepared and ready but at the same time to not be fearful. . I've seen some riots in the streets, heard of people being robbed of their stuff in hostels, on buses, on the street, seen the lovliness of the people and how kind they are, and seen how angry and passionate they can get too. Just like people all over the world. In some ways I feel like my heart is coming alive in the atmosphere of emotions and love. Many people have asked me to stay in Peru and I'm thinking of staying here. Will I keep traveling? I don't know. Really, when you hit a peaceful spot, it's important to relish it and see what it will bring, right?

fun at the beach

for whatever reason updating my ipad has caused it to not want to access my blog. so it{s been days without posting. i{m at huanchaco and enjoying the beach. The pics are of fishing and someone mending their nets common with what we do in alaska and ChanChan a huge complex http://www.arqueologiadelperu.com.ar/chanchan.htm
and yes it{s sunny here. <i{m aiming at some solutitude but it seems to be interesting people everywhere so i have to carve out alone time to think about life, love, God, what this all means.

<I met this interesting girl from the peace corps and she said that she and all the people she{s here with seem like they are bipolar from being really high up and then really low down.  We had some good laughs about a good day in <peru is one with solid poo.  I told her i feel ok now and she said, get ready for the low and just know it{s coming and there will be highs after that.  It made me feel better since I have felt totally unstable on this adventure, missing people at home, missing relationships, knowing that i need and want to be here and that i would never consider going back to the old life. my friends i will always carry in my heart, but not the old burdens.}

kennedy's big win back

We went walking to find the restaurant yesterday AGAIN and he found a place to buy his plane ticket to Buenas Aires. Off hand he asked the lady if she knew of a place where they sold food for 8.50 sole. She said yes and told him it was the same street he had already looked 8 times. She wrote down the name Faroiles and then we walked up there and immediatly the people recognized him and gave us a table and served us lunch. It was so funny, I couldn't stop laughing because there are these dark forest green doors and we had walked past and it seems there were closed and we looked for signs that said 8.50 but we didn't see any. He got his money back. I pasted a pic of him laughing on my fb page. I don't even want to start to tell you the story of how he believes he left 300 sole in his pants today when he dropped them off at the laundry. . . he picks them up at 6pm and he really thinks this money is gone.

kennedy's BIG tip

My malaysian friend Kennedy went to a restaurant somewhere nearby the hostel. He ate lunch there for 8.50 soles (like $3.) so he said it was a new restaurant and he tried to get change for his 100 soles bill ($40) but they didn't have change. So he tried to just leave a $20 US bill but they said no how can we change that. So he left the 100 soles and walked within 3 minutes and turned one time to the right and came to the hostel. That was 3 days ago and he hasn't been able to locate the restaurant again. He spends a few hours per day walking the blocks around the hostel-one block he's gone 8 times and even goes in place and asks do you have lunch for 8.50 soles? and I left something and they say no, our lunch is 8 soles and we don't remember you. He says he's so sad that he gave such a big tip and wonders if they closed down the restaurant since it was so new. But everyday from 12-5pm he searches for the restaurant and plans to eat lunch there-WHEN not if he finds it. He says that he was so crazy to do something like that and he wishes he'd spent the money on something else-anything else-but he just lost it. I asked him how much per hour he thought his time was worth and he said, he doesn't care, he even wants to hire a taxi to drive him around the city blocks to search for this place. He can only remember that they had a counter and the restaurant had 2 sides to it and it costs 8.50. In fact yesterday, I went wandering around with him looking for it and asking random people on the street if they knew of a restaurant that was new that sold plates for 8.50 soles. It's this funny runny joke now and today he has a cold but is getting ready cuz it's 11:56am and he's got to start his afternoon search for the place. He leaves in 3 days so he's getting a bit desperate to get his accidental BIG tip back. He has a big smile and sense of humor about it but being a gambler he just can't cut his losses and enjoy the rest of his time, he just keeps searching for the rest of his change.

Identity Crisis

So people ask me my name and I say Mariana Brosnan, cuz that's what my passport says so then they call me Mariana but i have no idea who they are speaking to. I go by Michele. But it's too confusing to explain and besides they say my name like Mitch-hell! give 'em hell! I don't know. then to get them to pronounce Brosnan is funny-I just tell them like Pierce Brosnan and they sometimes get it. then the next question I cannot answer is where are you from? my markings are that I am latina and I'm speaking Spanish or Castellana and usually I tell people I am from Alaska and then explain I'm not native or an Eskimo. But if I say I'm from Alaska, then they seem to have no idea and ask-is it a foreign country? Sometimes I say I'm from Costa Rica and they want to know how long is the plane ride from their to here. The next question is are you married. If it's a strange man, than I say-yes-this just causes less problems. If I say no, then they try to ask me out. So then with yes-they ask where is your husband? so I say in Costa Rica or Oregon or Alaska or wherever I just said I was from. and they ask if he's ok that I'm out traveling alone. I tell them that I have friends and yes he's ok with it. then they say-if you were my wife-I would travel with you. I try to explain he's a trusting guy and he couldn't go with me but he understands my need to travel so maybe he'll come join me later. Needless to say, it's get very complicated very quick. So what happens if I just say, no I'm single and I chose to travel, cuz I can-it's very unaccepted in this culture. So usually I try to avoid all these questions by diverting the conversation which can be tricky. Sometimes it's the path of least resistance to getting things done. so I'm not sure who I am or where I am from. They call me Mariana and I am a member of the Earth. : )

sightings

I was going to post a photo blog on where men choose to go to the bathroom. Outside the hostel on the main avenue there is a 6 lane street. men cross halfway across and there are trees in the median and they stop to pee there. I mean they can't make it across or it's like natures call. then i went near the shore with a rocky path and the men would just walk down a couple feet towards shore and again use the el bano. Then pretty much anywhere in the city they just turn their back towards the most people and just go. Now the only time I haven't seen them doing this was in a restroom. There's virtually no traffic to the men's room. just saying-apparently the outdoors just makes them feel free. It's not like in the middle of our regatta in Oregon, one team member had to go in the middle of a race. The request from the skipper was not to pee into the wind. Pregnant women Seriously about 1 in 15 women in Chimbote were pregnant. That town gets real quiet at night and then it get repopulated. Then boyfriends or husband were there with their hands on their back escorting them around town. These women looked ready to deliver there in the marketplace. Nursing moms Everywhere there are new babies and there are moms with their breast hanging out and the kid is nursing. The older ones get down and play and come back and the breast is their waiting for them. It's very common to see this everywhere. just sayin

settle in settle down

In the first hour in Peru, the Immigration Official asked me out on a date for ceviche, which I politely declined once I had my 183 days approved on my visa, an airport official asked me to take a poll for local Peruvians, but I didn't qualify as a non-peruvian, got a ride from a taxi driver who described local flavors and bebidadas to me on the ride to the hostel.

I went out walking the few blocks to the store to purchase a lock for the hostel-didn't take Jordan's advice and grab one previous-??!!

Then in the morning-I have no timepiece-I wandered around and found a local breakfast-a papa rellena- filled potato- boiled potato with a boiled egg with delicious red and green salsa on top. Cost 1 sole.

Exchange rate $1- 2.54 soles
so less than $.50 for that.

I played in a chess tournament in the park but was not successfull in my bids to win. Good thing my nephew Jonathan downloaded chess onto my ipad so I can practice up in case another chance comes my way. Isaiac was a fun player and was curious about my crazy adventure. The most amazing thing was the homeless man who looked completely like he's slept in the park and woke up hung over, he
d play anyone who showed up opposite him and beat nearly everyone he played. These young hot shots would stride up and then play several games before accepting their humilating defeats.

I'm totally exhausted and my back is letting me know that it's time to just chill out and not go on any long sit down trips for a while. So I'll be chillin in Lima for a few days. I'm sure living with 9 million locals will be awesome.

it's starting

i feel excited-scared, nervious, alive!, sad missing my close to my heart friends, :(, and glad for the opportunity to go explore. LAX in a few minutes then i'm out. . .

when something ends something new begins

when i moved to Oregon in 1998, my children were small(er) and we moved here with the hopes of shoveling less snow and finishing college and having my kids live near their cousins.  I came here with dreams and thoughts. Did those get accomplished?

In the next 5 years there were dreams of building community and having great business and fun-this dream seemed to slowly build-like wind filling a spinnaker-but then a hearty snap and tearing of the sail and utter chaos.  Were those real visions of things that were real to come or just foolish desire?

The last 6 years were difficult-learning to be consistant in a world of inconsistancy-in a job that was less than enjoyable-I tried to make it exciting and enjoyed the people I helped-it was hard times with kids and relationships.  I thought there was some point to learn, some deeper meaning but maybe it was all pointless waiting for time to pass so that I would be now.

I drove around Albanascopy-as I call it, and looked at the old dreams and projects that never came true. I don't get it.

So I have to close the chapter on what I thought this whole Oregon adventure was about and go on with my whole heart to the next adventure. I hold the love of my friends who've made me who I am or who attempted to :) and I resisted-oops sorry!  and I keep the memories of all the wonderful times I've had-especially laughing with people.

icnesho lsoe bpole speakelosl winnso soiel soemslaonl iwomans

comment made about my adventure

bus operator-What give you the right to leave?

bus operator-good for you (as he cries a little)

friend of a friend-you are selfish and self-centered-just because you have no friends makes it easy for you to leave

Family-i didn't know you were LEAVING-I thought you were going for a week in Greece

Family-I'll meet you in south america for Christmas

Family-( ) yeah he didn't say anything :(

my best friend-I don't want to think about it. Later she says-I'll vacation when you get somewhere I'd like to see

my mom-Ay Michele-I'm so excited for you

my sister Salome-be safe and have fun

my family Jonathan-you got tickets to Peru for $235 Round trip and you didn't tell me!!!!

my family Mel-I'm so excited for you

my friend -i've worked other places and not missed people who left

a guy i sold my life jackets to-I'd really like to come on this trip with you

another friend-I'm not going to think about you when you leave because then I'd worry

my dad-IF this is God's will, then I hope all goes well

a store clerk-I wish I had the balls that you do to quit my job and travel

woman at work who has not spoken a kind word to me in 5 years-I wish you the best

my friend-Go for it and live your dreams

physical therapist-you are better-keep up your strengthening and go live your life

my attorney-I really want my wife to be more like you and travel

my dog-wait I don't have one :)

my chiropracter-what will you do if your back acts up?

all in all most people have well wishes for me. A few are somewhat hateful as if I haven't paid my dues to go adventuring.

to them I say-I didn't live by your rules for my life before and I'm not starting now

I have to do what's in my heart to do

I'm tired

Tired of driving in circles for work, of coworkers being petty over meaningless things, over feeling unloved, of having to try to sort thru boxes while being productive at work, dreaming of being happy, anticipating fun. But having a hard time slowing down to enjoy it, of my back hurting, of not finishing close to complete projects, trying to balance saying bye to friends while not crying too much because I don't know when I'll ever see them, wondering if I'll turn into a grungy dirty dreads hippie, and wondering how to stay centered. . . . . .

tipping point

I am at this strange point in preparing to leave where I see ads or events coming and I realize I will not be attending because I will be in Peru.  Even sitting at meeting for work where they talk about how in 6-9 months we will have our new transit center completed and I realize, I will see it virtually but will not be there to see it live.

As the end of season sailing steak bash is announced for sept 20th, I realize I can eat my own steak in Peru that night and toast my fellow sailors from afar but I will not be there in person.

I believe that I leave in just 23 days for the first leg to my sister Maria's in southern Cali to visit for 2 days and then on sept 14th, I fly to Lima, Peru!!!!!! I'm so excited.

At the same time I delay thinking about that too much because I am here and need to keep full concentration to complete my simple tasks I've assigned myself before I can enjoy that time.  Just yesterday I thought I had completed the cookbook-AGAIN!!-because I had finished the index and then I realized, I hadn't paginated the cookbook. So it didn't matter what page number I wrote since there was no page numbers. IT WAS FRUSTRATING TO SAY THE LEAST, so I had to not work on it yet. ugh!!!

today I go to Portland to visit my daughter Siobhan and get some stuff sacks, water sandals and walking shoes at REI or Next Adventure. It will be a good day. I'm avoiding making eye contact with the 6 totes I brought down to sort through. . . .

My back went into deep agony last night and I couldn't work the 2-3 hours I had planned. I couldn't even think, I just had to tend to my back. It was frustrating but after tons of ice and advil, today I think I can make a go of what is my day.

23 DAYS!!! that's not a scary number. I just think today is Aug 19th and sept 19th I'll be gone from here and I'll be there in Peru!  nice!

saying goodbye

as i prepare to leave in about 30 days, I am making list of must-see people and making a point to spend time with them.  My daughter is one of these. It is hard and I feel sad going away from her, because I love her so much and enjoy seeing her face and listening to where she is in her life and being available. I suppose nothing changes except I'll see her face on skype and still be available but not living within an hour.  it was sad driving away from her and knowing that I will see her before I leave but probably the time will be shorter than I desire.

another person I made time was an old friend, he's now 87! I haven't touched base for about 3 years and in that time, his wife has passed on to heaven and he has been managing through those changes. I really enjoy his youthful energy and kindness towards me. I told him he and his wife are people I carry in my heart, wherever I go and I hope that it's the same for them now him. He assured me that the love remains. If I don't see him again on earth, we said we'd meet up in heaven!

quiet time

It's been refreshing to hang out near a lake in my friend's camper and swim and sail and just think and relax.  Everything has been on thing after thing after thing that it's been nice to just be calm and sleep a lot and not give myself a schedule.  Of course it's rough to have to get decent to drive a few miles to get coffee.
Yesterday I picked organic blueberries and met this funny guy whose father had driven him in a car to Costa Rica. I thought my dad was the only on to ever do that with his family.

ready or not

I've been trying to sell some things on craigslist and also donate some to a specific resource for teen moms. I've been frustrated that trying to give things away is so difficult. I have tried for 2 1/2 weeks to connect and made 2 more attempt yesterday and today. And the stuff is still sitting here, a sewing machine, rice cooker, convection oven, pots and pans, baking goods. But no one is moving to action. It's like I'm in a delay and I don't like it.

I'm trying to keep my eyes focused and I will pick a new place to donate, if this doesn't work out by tonight. Maybe I was on the right track and maybe I wasn't. I will get a storage unit for one month and try to sell and donate the rest.

I'm trying to be calm because this is not the worst situation to be in.

lightening my load

I listed my stuff on craigslist, am donating some to these youth in my church and to a teen mom program. A few things will go to friends/family like photos and such.  It's strange to realize the value you pay for something and then the value it's worth later. As if it somehow cost so much and now devalues.  I want to trade things that may cost a lot but will be of great eternal value.

I have to make room in my life for the load to be light and so that the most important things can be focused on without distraction.

As I go through this process I keep lightening the load of silly things from the past I've carried so that I will only carry that which is of value.

starting point

I have my ticket to go to Peru on September 14, 2012 and from there I believe I will go to Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Uruguay and then crew on a sailboat towards the Caribbean and then onto Europe. I plan to go for at least 2 years to the rest of my life. I'M SUPER EXCITED!!  

I can't wait to see what Jesus will do and where He'll lead me. It's going to be great! 

prepare with heart cleaning

God has been taking me through past "dings" in my past. Scars that hurt me or I hurt someone else and giving me the opportunity to forgive them or to ask for forgiveness. I went to a training that I had attended 3 years ago. I was ashamed when I realized it was the same instructor that I had some very harsh, rude words for. I had heavily criticized her speaking and she had overheard me. I had tried to give her some way to improve but it was just to cover how awful it was that I talked about her.

I saw her and knew this was my chance to apologize. I'd thought of my ugly words over the years and I felt humiliated by how horrible I acted. I apologized to her and asked her to forgive me. She said yes. I also complimented her on her speaking and what I enjoyed. I felt guilty but just kept reminding myself that Jesus blood covers my sins and I want to be changed.

I also realized that I'm human and relying on Jesus for my daily grace for my own faults and others faults is just a normal part of life.  So forgiving and asking forgiveness should be more normal and focusing on Jesus is the way of staying washed in the blood.

missionary? wow, I think that's right, Missionary!

Today I introduced myself to someone and gave my name and current employer, then I whispered, what I'm really doing soon is taking an adventure. I said I was going to start in Peru in September and take my guitar and talk about Jesus.  The guy smiled and exclaimed-"Missionary! You are a missionary, just say it!"  I paused and thought about it and realized that is right, I just hadn't thought about putting that name on it. So the next person at the meeting I talked to I used my new word, missionary. Pretty exciting.

Webster's says missionary is:

A person sent on a religious mission, esp. one sent to promote Christianity in a foreign country.

The free dictionary's definition is: 1. One who is sent on a mission, especially one sent to do religious or charitable work in a territory or foreign country. 2. One who attempts to persuade or convert others to a particular program, doctrine, or set of principles; a propagandist.  and their definition for Propaganda-

Material disseminated by the advocates or opponents of a doctrine or cause

Missionary-I thought I was just doing what God called me to do but there's a name for it.
I'm amazed. 

Jumping out of airplane

So I've been feeling like a child whose parent is directing them to move and pulling them by the hand. My hearts desire is to walk side by side God and do what He's telling me as He says to do it rather than lagging behind.
My fabulous Wednesday night friends prayed for me to make this transition.

One saw a picture of me jumping out of an airplane and experiencing the free falling feeling.  She said it was the RUSH of falling. She does not know my trip and blog are called moeby's rush adventure. It was after that that my parachute opened and slowed me down so that I could have a safe gentle landing.  The parachute was God.  I'm excited to jump!

I went home and packed up 3 bags of clothes to donate to Goodwill and lessen my load. I'm jumping. No more delays!

moeby's rush meaning

Moe is my nickname. B is the start of my last name. It's a Rush knowing Jesus and Adventure is great to travel.
so soon the journey will begin in 95 days!  I can't wait.
My house is a disaster as I prepare things to sell and to loan out and to walk away from.
It exciting thinking about not coming to this dreary place to do same same same every day.

lean into what you feel God is telling you

Heard an awesome speaker yesterday who has an infectious love of Jesus and of sharing Jesus. He shares where he goes and even spent 9 weeks in an Iranian prison for sharing the love of Jesus. It was great because he shared how down he felt, the waves of depression and how it was only Jesus who carried him.  
So even though I felt fear of this journey, I felt like I needed to take the first steps and just move forward. So today I felt like I needed to post my apartment on craigslist for subleting. I was looking at my email to see is the confirmation came thru and my sister emailed me a low fare alert from LA to Peru for a screaming deal.  So I posted it, bought a ticket to leave Sept 14 so that I am in Peru and can make it to the city that starts with a Ch by the 15th.
I was also approached by a friend to buy my freezer today too. Ok I get the message, it's time to go full-board toward the goal.

another step forward

I met a hairdresser today who not only pulled me forward out of grey, leftover reds and my dark to a wonderful look, but also shared with me her dream to walk Camino de Santiago Compustela and so I told her about my adventure.  So we made a plan to meet up in a couple years and walk the Camino!
More exciting she shared about her faith in Christ and how she's grown and God is blessing her. Wow-Great day.

A Bright Day

I was made for this. God made me to be this person. He allowed me many travels in life and adventures to prepare for the next stop ahead.
I'm excited and today I feel the direction to go south. So that's pretty COOL!

I am overwhelmed with this love I feel from God and how I am FREE to be who I was created to be. And I can love without boundaries and just be FREE!  Jesus thank you for your great sacrifice and Holy Spirit thank you for comforting me.